If speaking in front of people makes your body go into alert mode, you’re not dramatic.
You’re human.
Here’s a calm fix: find one friendly face and let it anchor your first two sentences.
Key takeaway: Find one friendly face and use it as your anchor. It steadies your focus, your breath, and your pace.
Why this works (even if you don’t feel calm yet)
When you try to look at everyone, your nervous system can treat it like pressure from every direction. That’s why your eyes dart, your voice feels shaky, and your pace speeds up.
But when you choose one kind face, your brain gets one clear message:
😊 I’m not alone.
😊 I’m safe enough to finish the sentence.
😊 I can take my time.
It’s not about staring. It’s about grounding.
How to choose your anchor (fast)
Your anchor can be:
✔️ someone who’s already smiling
✔️ someone who looks calm and engaged
✔️ someone who feels neutral (not intense)
If you don’t see a friendly face, choose a safe spot:
• the back wall
• the top of a doorway
• the corner of a screen
Your goal is steady, not perfect.
The 3-step “friendly face” method
Use this right before you speak:
Pick one anchor.
Deliver your first two sentences to that anchor.
Then widen your gaze to include a few more people.
Those first two sentences are the hardest part. Let the anchor carry you through them.
If you start panicking mid-speech
Don’t fight it. Reset.
Pause for one beat
Find your anchor again
Speak your next sentence slowly
You’ll look composed even if your heart is racing.
Starter lines that pair perfectly with an anchor
These lines buy you time and help you settle:
👍🏽 Thanks for being here.
👍🏽 I’m going to keep this simple.
👍🏽 Here’s the main point.
👍🏽 Let me start with the short version.
Say the line to your anchor. Pause. Continue.
Small Practice Moment
Practice at home with anything that can be your “friendly face”:
➡️ a photo on the wall
➡️ a sticky note with a smiley face 🙂
➡️ a supportive face on a video call
An example to practice. Remember to practice this out loud:
“Hi everyone. Thanks for listening. I’m going to keep this simple.”
Now repeat it once more, slower.
You’re training your brain: I can start without rushing.
Reflection question
When you’re nervous, do you try to look at everyone… or do you avoid eye contact completely?
Grounded doesn’t mean fearless. It means steady.
You don’t need the whole room. You just need one steady point to start.
😊
WriteNow 