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The journey towards a new goal is like stepping into a different space that has tons of possibilities. Each goal is a message guiding us towards a specific destination.

If… we start a plan for the goal.

One of the advantages of creating a plan for a goal is that plans make it harder to dump the goal.

Then, as we commit to this new plan, we enter a unique space that seems to never stop moving.

All the activities related to the plan now start showing up. And that is a good thing!  Because these new actions make us stay focused on the plan, which makes the goal easier to finish.

If you feel like you are drifting aimlessly through your days (life), then it’s time to work on your plan. And, if you don’t have a plan, then it’s the right time to start building one.

Remember plans lead to actions and actions are what make dreams a reality.

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In the fast pace of modern life, it’s not uncommon to feel drained and exhausted, especially if you are juggling career goals, family needs, friendships, and community engagement. What if the source of your energy drain is closer than you think? And even someone you know very well? Could you be your own energy vampire? The answer—even though you may not wish to believe this—is yes! So, in this blog, let’s explore the characteristics of this subtle yet impactful behavior and discover steps to break free from draining your own energy.

Characteristics of an Energy Vampire:

1. Self-Critical Thoughts: Constantly berating yourself or dwelling on past mistakes can zap your energy. Negative self-talk creates a toxic internal environment that drains your mental and emotional resources.

2. Overcommitting and Overextending: Juggling a multitude of responsibilities might seem impressive, but it can lead to burnout. Taking on too much without proper self-care can turn you into your own energy vampire.

3. Digital Overload: Excessive screen time, especially on social media, can be a significant energy drain. Constant comparison with others’ posts, and information overload can leave you feeling empty and exhausted, which drains your confidence.

4. Perfectionism: Striving for perfection in every aspect of life can be exhausting. Unrealistic expectations of yourself create a never-ending cycle of disappointment and self-criticism.

Three Steps to Change this Behavior:

1. Practice Self-Compassion: Instead of dwelling on mistakes or shortcomings, adopt a self-compassionate mindset. Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a friend. This shift in perspective can break the cycle of negative self-talk.

2. Set limits: Learn to say “no” and establish clear boundaries. Overcommitting to work, social obligations, or even personal projects can leave you feeling depleted. Prioritize what truly matters, and don’t be afraid to communicate your limits. Those who appreciate you will be supportive of this shift in your behavior.

3. Digital Detox: Take intentional breaks from your devices. Schedule time for activities that bring you joy and fulfillment without the interference of screens. Unplugging, even for short periods, can recharge your mental and emotional batteries.

Breaking yourself free from the role of your own energy vampire requires self-awareness and a commitment to positive change. By implementing these steps, you can reclaim your energy, cultivate a more fulfilling life, and ultimately become a source of positive energy for yourself and those around you.

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Every day I am fortunate enough to meet a lot of inspiring people – folks who are taking charge of their lives and transforming into the best versions of themselves. 

What exactly does the phrase “best version of ourselves” mean? The statement can be a bit complicated. Do we have different versions of ourselves? How long does this “best version” last?  When does this “best version” show up? And just how do we find this “best version” of ourselves? These are important questions, and my opinion is that these are best answered by each person, on their own. And as usual, I am interested in things that seem at first unrelated, which is why I will use this blog to share what I believe is strongly aligned with these questions about the best-version-of-ourselves principle: happiness.

“How can I be a happier person?”  This is a question that pops up often, and I believe that happiness is what leads to the best version of ourselves.

The truth is that happiness isn’t a magic trick that is pulled out of thin air. And neither is learning how to be the best version of ourselves. But I do know that these two concepts are aligned for me personally. I am my best when I am happy, and I believe that this process of happiness is a DIY project to which we hold all the tools. So like any good DIY project, here is a checklist of 5 ways to build your own personal happiness toolbox.

1. Accept that you are the architect of your own happiness…

This might sound harsh, but it’s empowering to learn to be accountable for your own happiness. If we wait for the significant other, plus one, partner, relative, child, or friend to bring us joy, then we are going to be very disappointed if they are having a bad day and cannot measure up on the happiness meter. Plus, how are they supposed to know what level of happiness we are requiring that day?

Each of us knows how we want to feel and because we know this level of happiness we want, then we can make the choice to keep the happiness flowing so we don’t drop below our desired levels of happiness.

Happiness is like hunger: you know what you need to do to keep it in check…

Sure, external factors can influence your mood, but ultimately, you get to decide how you react. Stop waiting for outside forces to make you happy and start taking control of your own joy. Take care of your joy just like you take care of your hunger.

2. Happiness is a daily photo album/photo dump/photo library, not a fairytale ending…

Imagine happiness as a collection of photos, each capturing a special moment. Maybe it’s a morning coffee with a loved one, a goofy text from a friend, or the satisfaction of completing a task. These little moments, strung together, create a beautiful album or library of your happy life and in turn, your best self. Don’t keep waiting for the fairytale ending – focus on collecting happy moments every day.

3. Use a tangible touch to build happiness…

Happiness isn’t just a feeling that you add into the day. Happiness is crafted with actions, especially those actions that you can touch. For example, you can start a gratitude journal, where you write down three things you’re grateful for each morning. Also, you can place a colorful sticky note with a positive affirmation on your door. Then, as you leave your home, the sticky note is the message you see.

Another option is to write a positive message and dictate it to your phone. Then choose “Read Aloud” and listen to your words being read back to you. This can be used when you are driving, exercising, or relaxing. Tip: make your word count at least 600 words so that you can get audio for a good two to three minutes. These tangible actions train your mind to focus on the positive.

4. Unsubscribe from the opinions of others…

It’s tempting to tie your happiness to the approval of others. But here’s the secret: those opinions are just that – opinions. They don’t define you or your worth. Building your happiness on the shifting perspectives of other people’s validation is a recipe for your disappointment. Instead, focus on living authentically and according to your own values. The right people will appreciate you for who you truly are.

5. Happiness is easier than you think…

Our brains are wired for negativity. It’s a survival mechanism. The problem? It can make happiness feel like a huge effort. But here’s the good news: happiness is often the simpler choice. Small, positive actions can create a happiness ripple effect throughout your day.

Remember, happiness is a journey, and it is YOUR journey. Yes, there will be bumps along the road, but when you choose to build your own happiness, then you will naturally create the best version of yourself. 

Now, download or print your checklist, and keep building that magnificent person: YOU!

Bonus Tip: Share your happiness project! The DIY spirit thrives on community. Connect with others who are also working on building their happiness. Together, you can inspire and support each other on your journeys.

Thank you for visiting my blog.

Last time I checked there were still 24 hours in a day. The reason I write this is because my TBR list will soon match my height, which means that I need more hours in the day to conquer my reading goal or my books will move from being a pastime to a full-blown tenant. Perhaps I should squelch my love for reading so that I possess fewer books? Nah. But even if I did, this still wouldn’t answer my need for more time in the day.

Since I like to find connections between seemingly unrelated problems, this moment was perfect for an exploration of accumulating books and disappearing time. Maybe my answer awaited me in the column of books peeking through the doorway.

Now it was time to build the team: my solution-focused mindset and my habit of using resources on hand. Next, I moved closer to my book stack on yeast, and I grabbed the first title I touched. Did I mention that I closed my eyes so my selection would be random?

Slowly opening my eyes, I was greeted by this rich, yellow-colored book titled, Practical Ayurveda by Sivananda Yoga Vedanta Centre.

Now, the team had to figure out how Ayurveda—of which I have little knowledge—related to the TBR books and time.

Let’s start with Ayurveda, which to summarize Google, is a health and wellness practice that encourages people to support the balance between the mind, body and spirit. 

Reading this reference book helped me in so many ways and I decided to start with the pillar of “body.” I learned about my dosha and how choosing certain foods would have different effects on my body as well as which foods worked best with my dosha. 

With this knowledge, I was able to see how my nutritional choices impact my physical energy, and my mental health, which tie into my ability to support my spiritual growth.  Now that I was ramping up the balance between these three factors, I could see a solution emerging to my core problem. Time wasn’t the issue but rather my choice on how I was spending my time. Simply put, I needed to reclaim my time, and to do that, I used the book for guidance.

By choosing foods that aligned with my dosha’s needs, I noticed I felt mentally energized and yet relaxed. And my ability to focus more on my soul’s awareness was enhanced. I felt complete. Another way to describe this feeling is to say that I could recognize how to support and nurture my dosha so I could feel my best.

The new version of my best self could see clearly now…as the lyrics to the song go, and I became aware that my feeling about a lack of time was just that, a feeling, from a stressor. So, I acknowledged my stressors and saw that one issue was related to my choice of not setting boundaries.  The outcome was that I reclaimed some time. My perspective moved out of victimhood over to the I-have-more-time-now-and-how-am-I-going-to-spend-it cul-de-sac.

Moving to this new and positive space helped me to read another book, then another, and then several more. Now my TBR list is getting shorter, and I don’t feel that I lack time to do what I love: read!

The best takeaway for me is that I made effective use of a resource I already had on hand, my book. This action supported a new choice: to respect my process of exploring “seemingly unrelated problems,” and this choice led me to a solution. We sometimes forget that we don’t have to give up who we are to solve challenges we face.

Thank you for visiting my blog!